Happy New Year, everyone. Looks like the world made it through another revolution around the Sun, despite Harold Camping’s careful calculations.
I have it on good faith, however, that it really is going to end in 2012. Yes, it’s more eschatological stuff, this time from the “Mesoamerican Long Count Calendar” (e.g. the Mayans). So set your clocks for December 21, 2012, and get all your unfinished business out of the way by then. I know I’m going to finish this novel and to hell with everything else. Taxes, schmaxes. What a colossal waste of time.
One thing I might do to get ready is memorize the Scrabble dictionary. If I end up in heaven with a lot of time on my hands, I don’t want to be at a disadvantage like I was this Christmas. On the other hand, that would be a pretty convincing version of hell — being in an endless Scrabble game with three other people who know every single esoteric word in the Scrabble dictionary. Of course ‘ka’ is a word! Isn’t it just too bad that it blocked you from putting ‘quiz’ on the triple word score…
I think I’ll play it safe and do the memorizing.
Looking back at 2011, I’d have to say it was a watershed year. Here are some highlights:
- I started the Gydle publishing empire. I have written more original words this year than ever before in my life.
- My world was rocked when I figured out that we are being crowdsourced by bacteria. I certainly hope yours was, too.
- My bare feet discovered that the ground is a surface that can bite back.
- I finally gave myself permission to live my lifelong dream – (the novel).
- I learned that I’m not 25 anymore thanks to a surprise sucker punch from a blood pressure monitor.
- I finally broke my jelly belly addiction. I may have to change the banner on the blog. Sugar snap peas? Carrots?
What about you? What did you do in those precious months after May 21, when the world was supposed to end? I certainly hope you made the most of it.
In the meantime, since I’m clearly too late for any preventive measures, before you go to bed tonight, take a vitamin B supplement and an advil. It might help with tomorrow’s hangover, according to a press release from the Loyola University Medical System.
And if the world is spinning because you drank too much? Here’s why.
On a final note in this final hour of the penultimate year of human existence, I’d like to thank all of you for coming here. Thanks for your attention and support. Thanks for your comments, your suggestions, your ideas. Thanks for making all my efforts so very worthwhile. Thanks for joining me in my many-flavored world and for making it so much more interesting!